Even he misses his phone calls and messages. (picture courtesy: The Hindu)
The other day, the husband, who moonlights as an ‘international man of mystery’*, sent me this irate SMS from foreign shores, “One can even find God. But cannot get you EVER EVER EVER on a phone. Totally impossible.”
A similar incident has unfolded in New Delhi today involving Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi, who have accused Mamata Banerjee of not returning missed calls and messages. While the PMO’s office has accused Banerjee of not responding to his missed calls, Banerjee has gone to town claiming that Sonia Gandhi never reverted to her SMS informing her of her decision to withdraw support over the reforms concerning the FDI in retail.
I never ever imagined that I would be writing this, but it has dawned on me that Sonia-Manmohan, Mamata and I, share similar problems.
I am tired of being accused of missing phone calls and messages by the husband and my friends. These mobile phones were supposed to simplify our lives and not enslave us or give us all, one more reason to exchange blows over.
Look I am not denying that I like my mobile. It is the first thing I look at as I drag myself out of my bed every morning and the last thing I cast loving glances over as I sleep at night.
When my babies were born I was keener to look at my phone for missed calls and messages than at their white shriveled up faces. I feel unhappy if my sms/bbm and whataspp have had a quiet day. I feel let down and unloved if I look at my phone after a long gap of an hour or two and don’t see the red light blinking.
However, I own the phone and I do not wish to be owned by it. I don’t like being reachable or being answerable all the time. Just as busy people with real jobs are allowed to miss calls and cannot instantly respond to messages, I feel, as a stay-at-home mom (or homemaker as they call it to make themselves feel better), I too have my telephone rights.
I may be spending a good part of my day at home but that does not mean I am sitting by my phone, putting nail varnish or petting my dog all day. I am not always free to answer calls and it isn’t always because I have some anti-ageing face pack slathered all over my mug.
In an office, it is easier to walk from one meeting to another with your mobile in your bag/pocket but when one is at home one does not carry the mobile around like a Macaw perched on one’s arm.
It also needs to be said here, that although I may not be a ‘lady who lunches’ or a kitty party type, it does not mean that I am under some self-imposed house arrest either. I could be in a noisy place where sophisticated ring tones can go unheard or at a PTA or in midst of an important conversation with the Pest Control guy. Who knows? I could be astral traveling, as I usually do, when I am in the car with my noisy kids. A bat would not be able to pick up the sound of a ringing mobile when my kids are around, then how can I, a human being with limitations imposed by evolution, manage to hear the damn thing ring.
So really, working friends, Indians and husband, you get paid to work and get ‘understood’ for missing calls.
I speak for many women like me who don’t get paid for work and get flak for missing calls. Don’t accuse us but empathize with us (I am hoping there really are other women like me out there.)
* In the words of my friend Fahad.
mumbaimusings 